☺Untuk Awak

I hope she’ll read this. Ya Allah. Gimme strength. That’s all I need. I’m sorry I’m not brave enuff to tell her directly. What a coward. I know.  Just that, I want you to know..

I know, behind your happiness there’s sadness-deep inside. I am not sure what have been bothering you, what have made you feeling upset and sad. Maybe I’m right and maybe I’m wrong about what you are going thru right now. But I am sure those words that came from you don't describe your real feelings. By your fake smile, everything seems perfect, you showed that you have a great life, no tears, always smile, look perfect and such things because you don’t want others feel sympathy on you. You don’t want others involve with your problems.

What a strong person you really are. I know, everything that you told aint 100% true. Don’t fake yr feelings just for the sake of soothing your feelings. Though, deep inside your heart, there’s a sadness which I don’t even know - How am I, as a friend should help you. What a useless friend I am. You have been nice to me since we first get to know each other. And evnthough we just knew each other for this short while, you are always nice to me. I supposed to pay you back for all those kindness you’ve done to me. Nevertheless I turned on you instead!

I AM TRULY SORRY!

I just don’t know how to make you feel better. I’m neither a lyricist nor a motivational expert. I’m just a coward friend of yours. Believe me, I’m not happy if you aren’t. I can’t live in such quiet life whilst knowing that my friend really hurt inside and she even dare to keep it alone.

But trust me, there are so many things yet to be done in this life. Don’t regret whatever you’ve been thru. Because this is how life thought us, to be strong inside.

I can buy it if you say that-who are you to say all these-you don’t know how it feels cause you aren’t the one who experiencing it! Yeah I don’t know how the real feeling was. But I am also an everyday sort of girl that has been through such kind before; I know the pain is unbearable.

Truth hurts sometimes, but that’s the fact. Sometimes we wanna know things as it is. Sometimes we prefer not knowing at all with the thought that we won’t get hurt. And sometimes we only wanna know things as we want to. Thus we shut ourselves from knowing what’s on earth that got nothing to do with us, at all. But the fact is-it doesn’t make a change after all.

Maybe we should take thing as it is, as it comes.  Perhaps we need to learn it the hard way. Or maybe we should be living life as it is. Life’s very very beautiful in every way. Manisnya peluang dlm hidup ini untuk kita sama-sama nikmati :] So, enjoy every bit of it up to the maximum, by knowing that many ppl love you in this life. And ppl that you love always beside you.

And let bygones be bygones, just take those as pengajaran or ujian frm Allah swt untuk hambanya yang disayangi. After all, Allah takkan uji hamba di luar kemampuanNya. Trust me, Allah loves you. And this is only a black mark in your book of life la girl.

To others, don’t blame me for writing these kinda silly emotional post. Blame my woman-vulnerable-heart that I have. Seriously, I’m not that emotional, actually. I’m hard to shed a tear. But at least I don’t want to be a cruel friend that lives happily without concerning her friend's sadness. I do care. And I do love you... I hope we’ll meet someday. 

-No need to ask me who is she. Dear, I really hope that you will forgive me.